Loving Moo Plus 2: Turning "17"

Turning "17"

Just a normal day at home, gearing up for a fun weekend to celebrate Moo's upcoming birthday. If only mom can get thru the emotions. Wow, my baby, my Maddie. She's turning 17!!! How did the years fly by so fast?

My memory seems to fade more and more these days. Mostly my short term memory. I always forget where my car keys are. I forget where I set my phone down. I forget to look in the mirror before I walk out the door and end up with my shirt inside out.

What I can't seem to forget are my moments with her. Some very precious moments stolen by a seizure or a dreaded cold, that to the average person it might be nothing, but to us it's everything. Everything it shouldn't be. What I don't want to forget are all the hopes and dreams I had for her. But they are fading. I don't actually forget them, they just get pushed back far enough in my mind so I won't drown in the puddles of my own tears.

Everyday that I am with her, I am blessed. For 17 years I have said to her in so many ways I am your mom. In ways I couldn't even describe. "Momma" can you just say it Maddie? Here touch my face, now say it "Momma", but the words never come. She use to reach for me and hug me and that was all I ever needed. These days her reaching comes few and far between.

Engaging and playing with her things are few and far between these days as well. The split seconds of attention I get, I spend hoping she'll hang on long enough to get a fun moment with her sisters, before she fades out again. I'm not thinking "oh let me go grab a toy." "A toy at 17, that just doesn't sound right does it?"

When you see the picture above, your mind probably thought of a baby. The fun things that you get for your little one, and the things that most parents can't wait to be done with. I see something else. These toys along with many others are placed around Maddie's room. I can't bring myself to get rid of them.

See that little vintage Fisher Price "Happy Apple?" That little apple is the very first sound that brought a smile to her face. She was 5lbs at 2 weeks old in the NICU. She failed her hearing screening, but the OT came in to see if they could get her to engage. And she did, she turned her little head when she heard the chime of the apple and I've never forgotten that moment. The little cookie jar, I think she got that for her Christmas 2 years ago. We were still working on taking objects and placing them into the hole. That skill we've been working on since she was 6 months old and in physical therapy 2x a week. Nope I can't get rid of that toy, what if she can still master that skill?

That little cow with the invitation. That was her 3rd birthday party. We had the coolest party for her, with real friends. It was the sweetest "Moo" party, before Pinterest even existed. I was that mom, I was going to make it special for her, even if she didn't know it. All those kids from that party are grown up now. We still see them. A few are off to college, a few of them still vacation with us. A few of those friends check in from time to time, but they grew up. And Maddie we are just grateful she's still here. She's turning 17. I wonder what she wants for her birthday?

We can't wait to celebrate you at Disney for our annual Mickey's not so scary Halloween party Moo. Last year we celebrated as Disney's "Inside Out." Be on the lookout for our latest Birthday Blog adventure.

Turning "17"

Turning "17"

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